Lonely granny wants to date

My recently divorced husband's last words were very harsh and humiliating. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I don't know how to recover.

When I emigrated to the Netherlands as a teenager, I quickly met the love of my life. I'm still with him, but he's now in a wheelchair. We can no longer do a lot of things together, so he's letting me find another man to do those things with.

I do have "single" listed on my profile, but it's a bit different. My husband has dementia and has been in a nursing home for years. Things have gotten to the point where he doesn't recognize me or the children anymore. I visit him every week; it's a real ordeal to see your own husband deteriorate like that. I don't have a married life anymore; what I'm looking for is a man who can accept that I'm still married on paper. I can't bring myself to get a divorce; it feels like a stab in the back for my husband.

I enjoy deep conversation and expect honesty from the other person as well.