Lonely grandmother wants to have fun

I secretly think it would be fun to cheat on someone with a stranger. Just forget everything for a while and do what I feel like.

I still prefer a bikini to a swimsuit; I didn't dare try it for a long time. But after a few sessions, I can enjoy myself again. Even though I'm not the slimmest.

I can feel very lonely; my only family left is my sister. Unfortunately, she lives down under. I do see her on video calls, but that's different from looking each other in the eye. I don't have children; that wasn't a conscious choice; Mother Nature decided it that way. I hope I can find a companion who will send my loneliness to the past.

I notice that my boyfriend feels physically older than me, and that's where the bigger differences are unfortunately coming in. While I still want to actively enjoy life, he prefers to do it from the couch.